back to painting :)

finally a cheerful post..after all those sob stories... :)
painting is a hobby that i havent been practicing for past 6 years...call it my carelessness or just laziness, i never gave it the importance it deserved... the last good painting (i'm the judge :) ) that i made was probably in 9th grade.. Indian education system doesn't let you go with your hobbies during your board classes. only super humans can go to school, attend tuition classes, get a decent percentage and follow their hobbies at the same tym. and i was no super human. hence, there was hardly anything that i did during my 10th grade apart from scoring a mere 84%. class 11th passed by coping up with new friends and new school. wanted to do something new and tried my hand at dramatics... no use... sadly, i'm not made for it. meanwhile i lost touch wid my pallete. and again came the board class. again the same tuitions, school and studies.
and suddenly i found myself in the hills of himachal pradesh. surrounded by pine trees the mighty dhauladhars.
my course demands a person to be good at sketching and painting is an added advantage. i was happy about it and pretty confident that i can do it. but, to my astonishment, the day i first held a 2B pencil in my hand, my hands started trembling. i just couldn't do it!!! pulled off the first year somehow. comes second year and i am supposed to use water colors... and shit!! same with it... the moment i took the brush in my hand, it started shaking... i gave up... though i still feel like a loser when i think about it. four years have passed, and architecture, instead of making me confident about my artistic skills has made me a loser.
but today, when i had the amount of work that would require a battalion to complete, i suddenly feel like painting. i take out my sketchbook, (that has only 16 small sheets and i haven't been able to fill it in 4 years) and start painting. i started with a landscape that i could have painted better when i was in class 5. but , it gave me a little confidence. moving over to a slightly more complicated daisy flower made me happy. though both pieces of art ( ah!!) were nothing better than color thrown in water spilled on a sheet it gave me happiness and a reassurance that i am not a loser after all. i tried and i succeeded. :)